Missing Jasper

by | Jan 29, 2020 | Selling Your Home | 0 comments

Clarence and Myrtle have long since been retired, and the frigid weather of Wisconsin has seeped into their aching bones for far too long. With three adult kids living in Florida they decided it was time to put the house up for sale and head to the ocean. Today was the day they were going to list their home all on their own! Clarence wakes with a spark in his heart and a pep in his step. Forty-five years as a woodworker and he still loved the thought of delving into another project. Today was the day he was going to make the for sale sign for the front yard. 

“Mornin Myrtle.” Clarence chirped from the bathroom.

Myrtle was up preparing her famous roast for dinner that evening. Boy, the house was going to smell good. Eight hours of slow cooking that savory chunk of meat made Clarences mouth water. 

“Say, Myrtle, have you seen my toothbrush?” He waited.

“No dear.” Her voice was a hum. 

“Damn dog!” Clarence muttered under his breath. 

He could hear the clink of Jaspers collar as he made his way down the hall pausing just for a second in the door of the bathroom. 

“Get your own toothbrush!” Clarence barked. 

He loved Jasper dearly, but he also knew as innocent as Jasper appeared to be it was not the case. 

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Myrtle was planning out this evening dinner. 

“Have you seen my apron?” She shouts to Clarence. 

“Nope.” He said still grumbling about his missing toothbrush. 

“Damn Dog!” Myrtle mumbles under her breath. 

Clarence makes his way into the kitchen and kisses Myrtle on the forehead. 

“Well, I’m off to my woodshed, i’ll be done with the for sale sign just in time for dinner.” And then he was off. 

Clarence’s woodshed was the garage, but it hadn’t been used as a garage since 1978 when all their children were still living at home. Every inch of wall space was taken up by Sunday morning ideas for the last three decades. He was pretty lucky because Myrtle never did complain about any of it. He opened up the garage door to let in the warm sun. 

“Hey, Clarance!” Jim the neighbor next door was standing in his front lawn. 

“Hello, Jim you’re up early.” Clarence was surprised. 

“Yea, Me and the wife decided we are going to put the house up for sale and move to Florida!” 

“Huh, well I’ll be. As a matter of fact, Myrtle and I have decided to do the same thing!” Clarence was really surprised. 

“Yea, we spoke with our Realtor, and the sign is being delivered today!”

Ha! Clarence thought to himself. I betcha that sign cost them their first born! Not me! I got all the materials right here to make a strong sign that will stand far longer than those Realtor signs! 

“That’s great.” Clarence finally spoke. “Well, I need to get to it. Good luck with selling your place, Jim.” “He’s going to need it mumbled Clarence under his breath. 

So he got to work drafting his For Sale sign. He noticed not long after his chat with Jim; a truck pulled up. A man jumped out, grabbed a sign, jammed it into the yard and off he went. Ha! Clarence thought. That sign will never last, it will be down in less than a week mark my words!

Back to work on the sign that was going to outlast the neighbors! A few hours later a car pulls up in the front of Jim’s place. A young couple gets out followed by another vehicle. A woman gets out to greet the couple. They shake hands and walk up and into Jim’s house. 

Huh. I wonder who that could have been. Back to work he went. It was nearing dinner time, and the sign was complete. He grabs his tool bag and walks over to a good spot in the yard. Eyeing up Jims sign he decided to put his just a little closer to the road where buyers would be sure to see his first! Maximum exposure! As he pounded the post into the earth the couple and the women exited Jims, chatting away. Whatever they were talking about they seemed excited. Clarence glanced in their direction. 

“Let’s head to my office and we can drafter the paperwork right now!” The Realtor spoke with such enthusiasm. 

“Excuse me, sir, are you selling your house? An onlooker approached Clarence as he was finishing up.

“Indeed.” He replied. 

“Hey. would you mind if I came in and took a look around?” 

Clarence’s stomach groaned in anticipation for Myrtle’s roast, but a potential buyer was someone he was desperate to find. 

“Come on in!” He said waving to the buyer. 

“Have a look around; I’ll be a minute. He shuffles down the hall and into his room. Sets his tool bag down to change his shirt for dinner. 

“So what do you think?…” Clarence asks as he came around the corner to see the buyer was gone. Confused he heads into the kitchen. 

“Say, Myrtle, have you seen that buyer that I let in?” 

“No dear.” I left the kitchen for just a few minutes. 

“Oh well, maybe they weren’t interested.” 

The smell of slow-cooked meat filled the air. Myrtle slowly brings the roaster over to the table and sets it down.  Clarence situates himself in his chair ready to relax and enjoy. Myrtle removes the cover of the roaster to nothing but savory juices at the bottom of the pan and an empty wrack. 

“Damn Dog!” They both mumbled in unison.

“Oh well, I’ll call and order us a pizza Clarence says getting up.”

Myrtle begins picking up the table. Clearance was placed on a brief hold with the pizza place. 

“Say, Myrtle, Have you seen Jasper?”



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